Grammar Nazi

Shit... I just said "give head well" instead of "give good head"... See what tutoring english has done to me!!! LOL :P Like that's gonna fly in the bedroom... hehe

I'm back

I'm sitting here typing to you from Sunny San Diego today :) As you may know, I've been hospitalized and am at home with family recovering right now. I'd just like to say thank you for all of you who sent your thoughts and best wishes my way - they were greatly appreciated! :D Being in the hospital gives you a lot to think about...

Firstly, whoever said television rots the brain was wrong... I've learned so much from watching gobs of TV this past week! I've learned how to decorate, cook, other house-wifey things, etc... ok... so maybe the Japanese game shows weren't very educational... but everything else was, I swear! ;)

Second, I think it's really scary that someone who's 21 y/o - someone who's supposedly at the peak of health - can just die like that. I stand by the fact that I almost died. Thank God for my sisters. Otherwise, I might not be well enough to be typing right now. It gets me feeling like people should enjoy more now and worry less. I mean, I'm a money hoarder... but what's the point of saving for the future when 1) you're not enjoying the present and 2) you may not even get to see your future? So, go out on a limb today and treat yourself to a special snack and hug someone you care about... snacks are yummy and hugs are free :)

Lastly, I totally can't believe what happened to me... a guy drugged my drink and because of it, I almost died. Seriously, that is so lame! A guy who drugs drinks to get laid has got to be one desperate bastard. I'm so angry at the guy who did it to me :( It infuriates me that people just hurt others to get what they want - would everyone just stop fucking being malicious??? If you have a choice between buying a daterape drug and buying a prostitute, buy the prostitute... they're guaranteed to be more lively ;)

Quyen was Hospitalized - ill now

For everyone wondering where Quyen's been the past few days, or how come she hasn't been blogging lately, especially given the blog was beginning to gather a momentum all its own, I have some news. You may want to prepare yourself for this. Last Friday, Quyen traveled to San Diego to celebrate her older sister's birthday, the middle child, although the birthday was technically on Thursday. Jenni, the sister in question, Newton - Jenni's boyfriend, Michelle, Quyen's oldest sister, and some friends of theirs went out to eat at a nice restaurant - $300 bill, and then decided to hit a club. Unfortunately, Quyen consumed a Long Island Iced Tea at the restaurant, and had herself another drink at a club later that night - not much for the average person. However, the alcohol thinned Quyen's blood. Also, Newton, Jenni, and Michelle suspect that someone drugged their drinks at the club because they all reported a strange taste, and feeling funny. The drugs gave Quyen a 102.7 fever that night. After hitting the club, everyone went home to Quyen's mommy's house and talked the night away. At around 4:00 am, Newton and Jenni heard Quyen having trouble breathing. She was gasping in pain each time she took a breath. Her breathing got to be so bad, that her family rushed her to the hospital that night. Sometime between gasping for air and being admitted to the hospital, Quyen began coughing up large amounts of blood up. At the hospital, she was admitted into a plastic room, like in Outbreak and other hazardous disease movies and with the doctors walking around in suits. Since then, she was moved to another room, where still doctors and family were advised to wear protection lest they get ill themselves. Yesterday, she was finally taken off life-support only to stop breathing several minutes later - she was placed right back on the life support. The doctors have been running tests since Saturday morning, and finally today ruled that Quyen's lungs have been bleeding and that's why she's coughing up blood. They also have a theory that Quyen became extraordinarily sick because the combination of thinned blood and drugged drinks makes the body extremeley susceptible to opportunistic infection. The effect was worse though because she has been fighting off a form of pneumonia that doctors are guessing has been with her for about three to four years now. When Quyen's immune defenses went down, the pneumonia attacked with a vengeance. At the moment, she is at home with her family. She is by no means doing 'well' but without health insurance she could not afford to continue staying at the hospital much longer. Her two-day costs are around $8,000 now. Presently, she can't do much more than walk on a level floor, and has the hardest of times even opening a juice drink. Her breathing is very labored. For those of you who've watched Star Wars - she sounds a bit like Darth Vader. Breathing is extra-difficult for her because, to begin with, one of her lungs has already been wasted away by another disease a few years back, and the other, to a lesser degree, was also damaged. To give you an idea of how ill she is: if she forgets to take a pill, death may happen, if she takes a shower the wrong way or without assistance - death again. Stress, like with any illness, also makes things worse. I thought I'd write this blog to diminish her stress about how her blog community is doing, and to let you in on what's happening in the event that she's someone special to you. If you'd like to, I'm sure she'd more than appreciate you sending your best wishes and thoughts in the comments section.

- her boyfriend

School and After-School Snacks

First off, I got my first A ever in my ANTH 315 class! I couldn't believe that I actually scored higher than the C+ and B- grades I've been getting so far on these stupid essays! I guess changing your writing style to get the grade you want really DOES work! :) The funny thing was that I wrote that paper in like 2 hours... much like today when I wrote this week's paper 3 hours before class!

When I get stressed out, I eat... a lot... but at least I'm trying to surround myself with healthy snacking alternatives... like fruit in a cup and applesauce and V8 Splash and stuff like that :) I'm trying not to load up on empty calories these days... what with the 20 extra lbs. and all :P

I picked up a super kewl snack food @ Walmart the other day... individually sized bags of popcorn! I couldn't believe it! I was so excited that they came in all sorts of flavors! I got kettle corn since that's my fave :) The size is just perfect for dinner and movie for one or to share with a friend (make sure your friend is not greedy) :P The bag has room enough for just one hand and it's super portable! I really like this whole portion control popcorn bag idea... I'm putting this one right up there with my spin brush ;)

Adding Links

So, I've been trying to figure out how to add links of other people's blogs, but I have been woefully unsuccessful :( I use www.blogger.com (aka blogspot) Does anyone know how to add links to the HTML code and WHERE in the code I should add it? Hmnn... maybe I'll try later tonite... excuse me if my blog starts looking all fucked up... your regularly scheduled program shall return shortly :)

Beauty Rant

Today, I went to Walmart to pick up a new toothbrush. I got to the oral hygeine aisle and was going to go for one of the normal brushes when those new-fangled "spin brushes" caught my eye. My sister had one in her shower when I went to visit for the weekend, and I've always been curious about them. They have always reminded me of those electric lollipop spinners - made for kids too lazy to lick their lollipops. I proceeded to spend the next 15 minutes taking up their offer to "try me!" with all of the brushes and wasting their batteries hehe I eventually decided to buy one - the Crest "pro-whitening" spin brush in metallic pink. To match, I bought a tube of Crest's "Vivid White" in refreshing mint - a new whitening toothpaste.

I got home and decided to brush my teeth. I was so excited when the white and clear toothpaste was being spread onto the double motorized brush heads. I put it into my mouth and it was just really firm. I thought, "Geez, there's no way this is cleaning my teeth!" It felt like it was barely rubbing itself over the surface and not between the teeth at all! Because of its giant head, it was hard to get to my back teeth, but I managed. When I got done and rinsed, I ran my tongue over my teeth. Oh mi gawd! They felt so clean! And the taste! It was like I just got a fluoride treatment from my dentist! I couldn't believe it! It was amazing! I LOVE my new spin brush :) Buy one today! ;)

On another note, I was trying to grow out my brows to make them more full (Asians have a problem with growing enough eyebrow hair) So, I let them grow out for about 3 months, trimming and plucking as little as possible. Pretty soon, I had tons of eyebrow hair! But then, people started telling me my eyebrows were too heavy and that I should thin them out. So... after I had my toothbrush epiphany, I obliterated my eyebrows. Tweezing and plucking... till the next thing you knew, they were practically where they started 3 months ago! Pshhh... I've always looked better with more dramatic brows anyway... :P But ya know what? I don't regret it. I like thinner brows - they make me look lots more happy and way less angry, and that's always a good thing ;)

As long as it makes you happy...

People always try to second-guess your decisions by including the bright idea, "As long as it makes you happy", as a way of saying, "I don't really agree with that, but ultimately, it's up to you"... as if a bad decision that makes you happy is all worth it... Thus, I propose this:

People always feel that if you're making a bad decision that you're trying to make other people happy and not yourself. "As long as you're happy" is a way of saying "Think of yourself. What do you want?" But the truth is that whatever we do, we're always trying to make other people happy because, in turn, that makes us, as social animals, happy. Whatever choice you make, someone, somewhere will be happy you made that decision. The trick isn't then to think of yourself versus thinking of other people but of which decision you choose that you'll be proud of making other people happy with.

The truth is that it has never had to anything with our happiness. The whole reason someone says that to you is so they can further their own agenda. Because ultimately, your happiness lies in the hands of others' happiness. I believe it is not selfishness which can guide our decisions but virtue - virtue that receives the praise of our fellow man and reflects the values and morals of our society. So, I vote to change the very erronous phrase, "as long as it makes you happy..." to "as long as you're proud of your decision."

My Weekend

On Friday, I drove up to see Chris for the first time in 5 weeks! It's been really rough for us not being able to see each other, but absence really does make the heart grow fonder! We got a room at "our" hotel, and shared a dinner at "our" restaurant. It's funny... you begin to share so many key memories in the same city, same restaurants, same places that you really start to wonder what's going to happen when you move or your situation changes. I guess the thing to look foward to is the fact that wherever you are, you'll be sharing things together :)

Saturday morning, we left for my boob job follow-up appointment in Temecula, but lo and behold, my '89 Volvo totally died on me on the freeway :( The engine just shut down... just like that. So, we were sitting on the side of the road waiting for a friendly passer-by to stop and give us a jump. Fuck that... you'd have to pay a person to care these days... and that's exactly what we did... $65 for a freaking jump start! Ludicrous, I tell you. We later find out that my radiator belt is loose and I have a coolant leak... greeeeeat

Needless to say, we never made it to my appointment and it took us 4 hours to make a 90 minute trip to San Diego. We got inside my mom's house and freaking passed out! By the time everyone got home, dinner was ready! Mmmmmmmm pot roast! Nothing like a home-cooked meal (anything is better than pasta, sandwiches, and cup o' noodles every day) The whole family ended up watching a bootleg version of Hero (which is a gorgeous film) on DVD.

The next morning, Chris and I got ready and went shopping for birthday presents for his little bro and my big sis (we're into the whole 'presents from the both of us' stage). I ended up spending about as much on me as I did for the both of them combined! I'm such prey to advertising... actually, I just bought some MAC lipglass and mascara (both of which were essential since I had run out of them) and a boxed set of Margaret Cho DVDs from BestBuy (I loooooove her!) So, I guess that's not so bad after all :P

We got home and the whole family was there: Mom, Lew, Chelle, Jenni, Newton, Chris and myself. We all ate filet mignon from the grill and watched The Notorious C.H.O. haha It's really nice being around family... I miss it :) And I realized something else too, my family is growing :)

Pokemon Craze

Lately, I've been addicted to Pokemon. I just started playing the old school Pokemon game on Gameboy (Blue version for those of you who care). Then, I got stuck. Imagine, a grown woman getting stuck on a video game made for 7-year-olds. So, I had to go online to find some walkthroughs, and I ended up checking out a complete list of all the Pokemon in existence - a Pokedex, for all you afficionados. There are like 350 of them now! (and they're not even cute!) What ever happened to 150? Supposedly, 150 used to mean catching them all. Fuck Nintendo.

The one thing I can count on these days

... is this damn toothache... it hurts! But it's not a cavity or anything... I think it's my 3rd molars (wisdom teeth?) that are coming in. All I know is my gums are sore like a bitch who can't walk straight... I'm just waiting for them to grow into my brain at this point.

On a lighter note, Chris surprised me with this really cute sushi set to match the Bulbasaur he got me last week :) The soy sauce holders have this "branch" that's attatched to the saucer portion of it which is in the shape of a lily pad (either that or a lotus blossom... something you'd see in the background of Chinese history remakes on the International Channel) I'll post pictures once I can obtain some sushi to put on it. Otherwise, it'll just look like... well, I don't know what it'll look like w/o it... all I know is I need some sushi for them, damnit ;)

I can't believe how much weight I've gained...

So, I went to the doctor yesterday for a follow-up, and one of the things you have to do before you see her is get on the scale. I couldn't believe my eyes! It read 146.4 lbs! That's like 20 lbs more than I weighed last month! I knew I gained weight since the surgery two months ago (when I was 126 lbs.), but I didn't realize I had gained that much! It's funny... I've really noticed the effect that gaining weight has had on me. I take naps during the day. I'm constantly tired. I feel listless and bored all the time.

I wish I could start working out, but my surgeon says I can't. Otherwise, my boobs won't heal correctly :( So, I'm pretty sure that the weight will just fly off once I'm able to do more than walk around. But it's still unsettling knowing that I've gained almost a pound every couple days! I meet with my surgeon this Saturday. So, hopefully he'll give me the okay on exercising again :) If not, I'll just have to watch my calorie intake... what else can I do when I can't work out? BTW, does anyone else think gaining a pound every two days is a bit abnormal?

Yellow Light!

So, after the first two hectic weeks of school, things are starting to slow down. I still have this nagging feeling that I have tons to do, but I just relaxed and hung out all weekend. Maybe I'm getting used to the stress level and am starting to cope. Who knows? I'm really glad I got my bulbasaur. Strangely enough, he keeps me company, and he's nice to hug and sing Vietnamese karaoke with ;) I must have spent $70 on groceries and stuff for the house this weekend (Yay! Now I have a glass Pyrex lasagna pan) Looks like I may have to also buy some MACE and a bat to ward off weird men who knock on doors at midnite...

This just in: I had my first repeat customer this semester! Funny, they are always boys... I think that they think that I'm cute or something :P Then again, maybe it's my awesome tutoring skills that keeps them coming back! ;) If asked, I think I'll stick to the latter reason.. for the very reason that I come to work sopping wet from a hurried and jarring shower in the morning before coming - no makeup, no nice clothes... just my very tired brain :P

Scary Men Knocking On My Door

Yesterday, I was getting ready to make my way out the door to go to Vons when there came a knock at the door. Well, my apartment doesn't have an eyehole on the door. So, you have to go all the way to the bedroom to peek out the side of the window to see who's there. Well, there was this really tall, old man with a beard standing there. I didn't know him. So, I wasn't about to open the door. After all, I'm a weak asian girl living all on her own. What's the protocol for that? Oh yeah - "Don't talk to strangers".

So, I'm watching this man (about 40 y/o) from my bedroom window and he's not leaving! If he were a salesman or advertiser, he would leave, correct? After awhile, I check again and he's not there. As soon as I put my hand on the doorknob to go out, there comes another knock on the door! I go back to the bedroom to see who it is. This time, it's a guy who's about 30 y/o and shorter and he's just waiting there. Then, get this... he makes calls on his cell phone while waiting outside my door for 20 whole minutes! I'm just thinking, wtf is going on here? Finally, he leaves, and I make it outside the apartment with no problems.

Here's the scary part... So, I'm back home from dinner with a friend and shopping @ Wal-mart and I'm just playing on the computer when there comes another knock on the door. At this point it's midnight! Who the hell goes around knocking on people's doors at midnight?! So, I go to the bedroom again to see who it is and because it's all dark out and there's light inside my room, I can't see him, but he can see me. All I can see is the reflection of his glasses staring back at me through the side of my window, illuminating his full beard. I was so fucking freaked out! Seriously, this can't be a coincidence... and I don't know many middle-aged white guys. So, now I'm thinking that I'm gonna die or they're gonna break in or something. Chris even stayed up till 4am in case I had to make an emergency call to him... Poor baby, he was worried :( Anyway, I guess I'll go talk to my landlady about this - this is just NOT OKAY...

Bulbasaur!

OMG! Guess what I got in the mail?! A new baby bulbasaur! He's really big for just being hatched from his PokeEgg :) I came home from work yesterday and there he was in a box in front of my door. I'm glad no one stole him! He's such a valuable and rare Pokemon; I know other Pokemon trainers in my apartment complex would have taken him from me if they had known he was inside the box.

He's so affectionate and sweet. He likes to just sit on my chest and talk to me in "bulba-speak". He's so loveable and huggable too! I slept all last nite with him. However, he doesn't like being grabbed by his bulb. So, I have to be careful to cradle his body in my arms when I take him around with me. He loves watching Ranma! Right now, he's sitting on the bed watching me type out my blog.

Here are some pics of my bulbasaur and I:







Chris got him for me as a gift! Wow! What a great present! My favorite Pokemon of all time, and he's just as big and cute as Ash's bulbasaur! Interestingly enough, he thinks Chris is his father and will call him from my cell phone just to say hello! hehe I love my new bulbasaur! Thank you, Chris! :D

Blogs of Distinction

Here are two people's blogs that I found interesting today:

Ly Truong

Margaret Cho

Enjoy! :)

Success

I've just got done tutoring a student and he had the most insightful definition of success: "Anything productive done for yourself, your family, or society." When I asked why he thought that, he said "because most people are successful but can't achieve fame or fortune, and as long as you're not doing anything unproductive toward yourself or others, then you are achieving success". I think that is a very insightful response.

Often, we think success lies in how well we do when compared to others (i.e. a letter grade) or that it happens when we achieve major goals (i.e. degrees of higher education). But this young man's definition wants us to believe that every time we attend a class session or turn in our assignments - that is success! And I believe he is justified in saying that not everyone can get the A or get a masters degree. I think that success isn't about what we can accomplish but what we are accomplishing in the here and the now.

So, is success more a set of accomplishments and credits that we strive for and once attained, sit on like laurels? Or is it something we can do every day, in every moment, knowing that there is a "no-judge" opportunity to be productive or unproductive at all times?

Freaking Anthropology!

I just got back one of my papers for ANTH 315 - 3rd World Cultures... I got a C+ on it! >:/ I've never gotten a C on a paper before! I tried really hard on those set of essays too! Because of this grade, I've lost 2% of my total grade already! There go my hopes for getting a high GPA this semester... and I really wanted to be on the Dean's List again too... :(

I swear he didn't even really read it! He didn't give me full credit for grammar and mechanics... I tutor kids in how to write essays... and let me tell you... I know grammar and mechanics... in fact, they nicknamed me the "comma momma" in my composition class! Anyway, if I don't get at least a B+ on this next set of papers, then I'm going to make an appointment with him and ask him how I could have gotten a better grade. grrrrrr... freaking anthropology >:/

Work

I started work this week and it's been a great assist to helping me not go crazy. Yesterday was the most exhausting day I've had in a long time: I woke up @ 8:30am, went to class from 9:30-10:45, went to work from 11-12:30, got home at 12:40 to scarf down lunch only to leave for class at 12:45, orchestra from 1-3, practiced from 3-5, viola lesson from 5:15-6:15, home by 6:30, ate a quick dinner and printed out my paper in 15 minutes, just enough time to get to my psych class from 7-10, got home, got in a fight, took a shower, resolved a conflict and watched a couple episodes of Ranma, sleep...

Anyway, back to my point... helping kids go through the thinking process and come up with better strategies to write and brainstorm their ideas on paper is very rewarding. I like being able to be a part of the epiphany that takes place. The way they are learning is a hands-on representation of all the crap I put myself through in order to succeed in my classes. Everyday, I challenge myself by learning, step-by-step, and coming to an epiphany about any number of subjects. It's like I see a little bit of myself in these kids. It's a really nice feeling that I'm making myself available to them, and as an added bonus, I get to see them progress throughout the year, like a classroom teacher. I feel that I'm more than a tutor; I'm a mentor :)

Floridians

Thinking of my friends... with all the hurricane trouble in Florida right now, I hope Adam, Brian, the other Brian, and everyone else that is going through this dangerous and upsetting time are safe right now. If you guys are reading this, please comment and let me know you're okay. I hope everyone is okay.

In times of pain, I'll tend your wounds.
In times of chaos, I'll give you solace.
In times of loss, I'll offer myself.

I'll be thinking of you all.

Tractor Trouble

So, I was driving to a studio gig today and I totally got lost because I got bad directions from the composer. I'm going the opposite direction of where I should be headed and it turns into this long stretch of 2-lane freeway. I'm driving down this thing wondering if I should turn around and cut my losses. But, lo and behold, there is no shoulder to stop at and there is a long train of cars riding my bumper behind me. So, I keep driving. I keep seeing signs that basically tell me to 'keep going and you'll eventually get to where you need to be' - some place called Fillmore - more importantly, a place with freeway junctions. One thing leads to another, and I end up driving this long, windy, precarious road in the mountains. One false move and I'm in the canyon below. I hate roads like that. It reminds me of going to see my ex in Arrowhead.

So, here I am: driving 15 mph down a scary canyon/mountain 2-lane freeway with a bevy of angry white people driving behind me and civilization is nowhere to be found. I get down to sea level and I'm driving past these farms and plantations. I swear I see one for cotton. In the distance, I see a town of some sort. Finally! Maybe I can get directions here, I think to myself. There is a sign telling me to turn right to take the 126. Where the hell is the 126???

I decide to park at a gas station to ask for directions. I go inside and everyone is white. Now, this is not reverse racism, but they all looked like they wanted to lynch me cuz I was asian. I think the old woman in the corner was seriously debating whether she should make a coat out of me or just press me to death with boards. After I get some clues of how to get to where I need to be, I step outside and see something glimmer in the corner of my eye. I look over and there is a tractor just driving on the street like it's nobody's business. A man in a straw hat and overalls driving a tractor, stopped at a stoplight, with other cars behind it...

"Bach" in Time

I'm sitting here waiting for my cheesy garlic bread to finish baking in the oven and listening to Bach's 4th cello suite. Baroque music always makes my mind drift. I start to envision scenes from 'Tous les Matins du Monde' as they both meld with and phase in and out of reality:

The room is swimming in the soft warmth of candlelight. Shadows run across the clay walls as the lit tallow makes its way to the end of the room, faithfully lighting the way ahead while drowning all else in dark solace. The sound of gentle footsteps as they retreat into the hushed night lingers just above the wooden floorboards.

The smells of the daily bread drift in the moist air, heavy and sweet, like roasted seeds. The hearth-fires have dimmed, leaving cold ashes in the pit. The flame shines off the knives that rest on the cutting slab. The love that is imparted into the food is reflected back. The light leaves. The kettle hanging above the pit begins to gray and darken; this room, too, is left in quiet as the beacon makes its way forward.

Talent

Last night, I stayed up till 1am reading the blogs of hardcore classical musicians. All they wrote about was this competition and that recital and that concert and this practice session. I was impressed that they had such a deep love and commitment to their music making. It really was profound to read what they wrote and how they felt about their daily progress as musicians. They played music, they went to see music, they talked to musicians, they read books about music... everything in their lives consisted of music.

I even read one violist's blog about how she felt the need to sacrifice other hopes and dreams she wanted out of life in order to pursue the viola... how she thought that dying, unmarried, was a worthwhile sacrifice, as were her dreams of taking dance lessons... So much to give up about yourself in order to throw all of who you are into one venture. I'm resigned to say that I don't have that kind of dedication.

Even though I identify myself with viola playing, there are other things about me besides music. I've developed my compassion enough to serve as a suicide counselor. Along with my gay and lesbian friends, I've succeeded as a leader and visionary to form "Gay-Straight Alliances" at high schools all across San Diego County. I've won 1st place at both State and National Viola Competitions in 1999 & 2000. I've been soloist with several orchestras. I've succeeded as an entrepreneur in starting my own orchestral contracting business. I'm a published poet. I'm an SAT tutor for Kaplan and a writing consultant. I like to snowboard. I like to cook. I love to dance. There are so many things about me besides my music. So many other talents I have that are applicable in almost any area of life I wish to pursue. I'm a counselor, a confidante, an activist, a leader, a star, an entrepreneur, a teacher, an athlete, a writer, a caregiver, a friend, a role model... And so, I come to realize that my true talent isn't in music. No... my true talent lies within the capacity of both my mind and my heart. I know that whatever I choose to do in life, I'll be successful. Whatever I choose to do in life, I'll do it well.

Exhausted

15 pages of essays and 300 pages later, I'm sitting here, exhausted. It's only the second week of school and already I'm so tired. I can't believe how much work I've already done. And really, getting through a 3-hour lecture on Third World Cultures on a Thursday nite is a freaking test of mental willpower and strength. I'm sleepy. I'm hungry. I just want to relax. Good thing that all I have to do from here on out is attend a work meeting, practice viola, and read a 200 page book so I can start on a 10 page paper that's due Tuesday. School will be the death of me... or at least my sex appeal haha

I promise to write a more interesting blog over the weekend, once I've had a chance to relax and recuperate. But right now, my pillow b/f is asking me to come lay with him in bed... sweet dreams ;)