Talent

Last night, I stayed up till 1am reading the blogs of hardcore classical musicians. All they wrote about was this competition and that recital and that concert and this practice session. I was impressed that they had such a deep love and commitment to their music making. It really was profound to read what they wrote and how they felt about their daily progress as musicians. They played music, they went to see music, they talked to musicians, they read books about music... everything in their lives consisted of music.

I even read one violist's blog about how she felt the need to sacrifice other hopes and dreams she wanted out of life in order to pursue the viola... how she thought that dying, unmarried, was a worthwhile sacrifice, as were her dreams of taking dance lessons... So much to give up about yourself in order to throw all of who you are into one venture. I'm resigned to say that I don't have that kind of dedication.

Even though I identify myself with viola playing, there are other things about me besides music. I've developed my compassion enough to serve as a suicide counselor. Along with my gay and lesbian friends, I've succeeded as a leader and visionary to form "Gay-Straight Alliances" at high schools all across San Diego County. I've won 1st place at both State and National Viola Competitions in 1999 & 2000. I've been soloist with several orchestras. I've succeeded as an entrepreneur in starting my own orchestral contracting business. I'm a published poet. I'm an SAT tutor for Kaplan and a writing consultant. I like to snowboard. I like to cook. I love to dance. There are so many things about me besides my music. So many other talents I have that are applicable in almost any area of life I wish to pursue. I'm a counselor, a confidante, an activist, a leader, a star, an entrepreneur, a teacher, an athlete, a writer, a caregiver, a friend, a role model... And so, I come to realize that my true talent isn't in music. No... my true talent lies within the capacity of both my mind and my heart. I know that whatever I choose to do in life, I'll be successful. Whatever I choose to do in life, I'll do it well.