Holy Crap

I am SOOOOOO addicted to the Gamecube! I just played like 7 freaking hours straight with my friend, Jenn. She thought we were gonna play viola duets, but no! We played 7 hours of video games along with a pizza party! :P bwahahahaha

I have finals next week. I should really be studying or something, but Mario beckons to me... hehehe :P My Gamecube party is next Friday, after all my finals are done. We're gonna drink ourselves silly and then play games all night... Can we say caramel apple martinis? ;) Dee-licious! :D

Next order of business: Get Little Eyes to buy a Gamecube ;)

It's all Grace's and Nina's fault!

I guess I should comment on Thanksgiving first... It was really fun. There was lots of yummy food - my mom's stuffing is the best! I showed off my Kung Fu moves to the family, and they were all impressed. In the process of demonstrating my defensive techniques, I dropped Chelle on her ass hehehe :P We met my sister's new b/f, Greg. After dinner, we all played poker; my mom cleaned us the fuck out. Thank God she gave me my money back. Otherwise, I would have had to add that to my "Holiday Shennanigans" account. :P The next day I sang Karaoke all day - Immortality by Celine Dion is my bitch ;) Then, I met my dad and sister for a buffet dinner. However, the most important thing that happened was that after telling my parents about my super tight budget, they felt sorry for me and gave me $100 each... Score! So, now I have $200. Oh, what to do with it? :P

Well, this is where the real story begins... I was talking to David on the way down to SD, and we were talking about Gamecubes. He said I should just suck it up and buy one - I was like, "I have no money". I thought I might ask for one for Xmas. But then, Chris tells me there is a Gamecube sale at Gamestop. So, I decide to go check it out.

I'm standing there with a Gamecube in my hands debating whether I should buy it... Just then, Devil Grace and Devil Nina appear on my shoulders (I'm sure Devil Mike was somewhere in the background hehe)

Me: But it's so expensive! I should use this $200 for an oil change or something useful.
Grace: But Pikmin 2 and Paper Mario are the best games EVER!
Nina: She's right! Even I bought one.
Grace: Yeah, look! Even Nina bought one.
Nina: Figure it this way: You can spend the $200 on Xmas presents for other people who won't like what you got for them anyway, or you can get a Gamecube all for yourself.
Grace: All for yourself! Mwahahahahaha! Oops. Sorry.
Nina: C'mon, Quyen. Join the club! It's a big party, and you're invited! :D 'Please bring all your purchases to the register. Thank you! Come again.'
Grace: C'mon. Be one of the kewl kids. Buy a Gamecube. You wanna be kewl, don't you???
Mike: *sings "Wind Beneath my Wings" in the background*

So, giving in to peer pressure, I bought a wonderful silver Gamecube, 2 controllers, a memory card, a game carrying case, and 4 games: Mario Party 4, Super Smash Bros. Melee, Mario Kart: Double Dash, and Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles. Can we say Gamecube party? ;)

I have a lot of food on my plate...

...but I'm a big eater. :P I've been asked to write a book for tutors and educators on the benefits of games and models in education. If it's as good as I think it will be, I think it will be distributed throughout the CSU and UC system to beef up their tutoring programs :) Isn't that kewl? I hope to finish writing the book by February.

As for my new job, it's been taking off... I've been asked to teach 7 classes (possibly 9) and I've had new students rolling in like crazy! Who knows? It might even become my primary job! :) The best thing about it is that the pay is great! I might not have to be on a budget anymore! bwahahahaha! :P

I hung out with Jenn today to go grocery shopping and we had such a great time! Who knew people do a little "cake mix dance" while they browse the baking aisle? LOL *bwahahaha, Jenn* :P hehehe ;) Anyway, after much talk about how we've never seen an angry person eating an ice cream cone but we have seen an angry person suck dick (and what that says about dick hehehe), she conned me into practicing with her for the L.A. Marathon... How the fuck did I get roped into this? And here's the clincher - she wants to go for a 7-mile run tonite... right after my 2 hour Kung Fu class! Can we say, "Owie"? :P

Yay! I have a second job!

Well, I always did have a 2nd job, but there was no work for me for a long time. But I got two calls last night from the owner and manager of the music school I teach at, and they have some new work for me! :D Yay! I'm so excited! They want me to teach a couple violin students and 2 group piano classes. This is funny because I don't really play piano. I've only taken a few piano classes in college. However, I'm really good at teaching and pedagogy, and I'm sure I can design a good curriculum out of some method books.

The funniest thing is that they want me to teach cello! I mean... WTF? I don't even play cello! Well, I DO play viola da gamba, but it IS kinda different. So, they are saying that they will pay for me to take some lessons so I can start teaching cello. How kewl is that? The only drawback is that I have to buy my own cello... :( Hmnn... Is it really worth it to buy a cello just so I can teach beginning cello lessons?

But this opportunity is really kewl! I've already designed the music theory class I'll be teaching in January :D That class is gonna be so kick ass! So, in total, I'll be teaching 4 group classes: 2 piano, 1 violin, and 1 music theory; and private violin and viola students (and possibly cello too!) The only thing I have left to do now is buy some moo-moos and dumpy clothing so I can look "conservative" as a teacher... hehehe Why do teachers always look like multi-colored crap? It really disturbs me :P hehehe

This is ridiculous...

So, I woke up this morning because I had to go pee. I don't usually get up, but I thought I might pee on myself if I fell back asleep lol :P Anyway, I never get back to sleep after I pee. So, I just layed there in bed thinking about my day. I only had a 30 minute break to eat between 12:30 and 1. The next time I had a break was at 5... So, naturally, I thought of waht I was going to eat for lunch. I was mentally going through my pantry, freezer, and fridge while warm under the covers... I soon realized that I had fried all the potstickers, steamed all the frozen tamales, made all the sandwiches, and drank all the juice and soymilk. Shit. What am I gonna eat for lunch?

So, I got out of bed and started looking everywhere for food. Nothing... This is what I get for missing grocery shopping day. I'm too busy all the other days to go shopping :( Fuck. So, my choices were canned mushrooms or condiments... Luckily, I found a box of Krusteaz brownie mix on a shelf. So, here I am at 7:30 in the morning baking brownies so I can have some sort of "lunch" later in the day. That idea, in itself, is so wrong. The worst part is that I'm sitting there mixing the brownies and wondering what the hell I'm gonna do for dinner. I'm never missing grocery day again :(

Something I've been wondering about lately...

Why do men like having sex with their socks on? WTF is that??? I just don't get it... Sometimes, they like wearing their tennis shoes too! I see it on porn all the time... it's either guys with socks or socks AND tennis shoes! What... are they gonna go running afterwards? Maybe it's because they have to run out of the house once the girl's husband comes home. Maybe it's cuz boys can't fucking tie bows... :P You know what I'm talking about... when they just kick off their shoes without untying them? Personally, I like men's feet. I like how they're all veiny and shit... it's so masculine... I feel the same way about men's hands... Meow. :D Somehow, a man with really tiny hands and completely smooth skin on their hands (sans veins) just looks wrong... Oh oh... and you know what I REALLY like? Those really long veins that go up their forearms... Hubba-hubba! ;)

On another note, never buy your prescription drugs from Canadian pharmacies! They have lousy customer service! Grrrrrr... >:(

Multi-Talented Opera Divas

A famous diva and a male patron were talking in the Green Room after an opera performance.

The man says to the diva: "Madam, your voice is so exquisite! Have you any other talents equal to your beautiful singing?"

The diva blushes and motions the man to come closer. She whispers in his ear: "As a matter of fact, I can give head and sing opera at the same time!"

The man says he doesn't believe her and asks her to prove it. So, they go backstage into her dressing room and she tells him to take off his pants and sit down on one of the chairs. The man sits on one of the chairs and the diva starts to walk away from him.

"Where are you going?" asks the man.

"Oh, I can only do it in the dark. I'm going to turn the lights off. Just relax," the diva replies.

The diva turns off the lights and makes her way to the man sitting in the chair. Immediately, he feels her lips wrap around his cock and start to slide up and down the shaft. And then, she starts singing a beautiful Mozart aria. Between the incredible blowjob and the stunning vocal performance, he only lasts about a minute before he cums.

As he drove home, he thought long and hard. It was impossible! How could she give him a blowjob and sing at the same time? He was determined to find out.

The next night, he attended another showing of the opera and again he met the diva in the Green Room after the show and asked her to perform for him again. They go back to her dressing room and she tells him to take his pants off and sit down. This time, the man opts for a chair near the light switch so he can flip them on as soon as he's done cumming.

The lights turn off, and again, he feels her warm mouth take his cock in. It starts to slide up and down as she performs a stunning performance of a Pucini recitative et aria. Just like last time, the blowjob was so good and the singing so beautiful that it takes him only two minutes to cum. But as soon as he's done cumming, he flips on the lights...
















...and sees her glass eye on the table. :D

Self Worth for Dummies, Part II

well, if you're going to read this, you might as well read this.

Moving right along...

The obese girl has learned "learned helplessness" (like the baby elephant), the idea that she must change in order to be "normal", or some combination of both of these things. At the root of these feelings is the idea that they are inadequate. "If I lose weight, people will like me more." "No one likes me because I'm fat." These are statements where feelings of inadequacy prevail and thus, lends to a desire to prove something to others or oneself. "I'll show them. I'll lose weight and then they'll see I'm just like them." "There's no use in trying to be friendly. It never works anyway." In one case, the person feels inadequate and wants to prove to others that they are, in fact, adequate. In the other, the person feels inadequate but feels helpless to effect change. So, feelings of inadequacy lend themself to the need to prove something to others or oneself.

Therein lies the vicious cycle. The person trying to lose weight is only feeding the idea that she is not okay how she is - lack of self-worth. The person who doesn't see the sense in trying has accepted that there is something wrong with her - lack of self-worth. And if the person has a mix of these feelings, then they're in serious trouble. But you see, the more the person tries to lose weight, the more they tell themself that being how they are is not acceptable. And the more the person accepts that there is nothing they can do can change her situation, the more they will tell themself that there's something inherently wrong with who they are. It's a vicious cycle, and it's hard to get out of... But there is a way...

People need to accept that they are okay just the way they are. They have to know for themselves that who and what they are is acceptable. They have to let go of the feelings of inadequacy through deciding not to try to prove themselves. One of the things I realized was that I was always trying to be better to prove to someone else that I was good enough, smart enough, fast enough, skinny enough, sexy enough, kind enough, etc... And as long as I tried, I was telling myself that who I was was never going to be adequate.

It was my fault that I felt this way because I should have seen that who I am is acceptable and enough for me... and that is all that matters. I learned that I don't need the approval of other people to know that I'm good enough, because I am. I discovered that if someone doesn't believe that you are adequate enough, then that's their problem. If they don't think that you are adequate just the way you are, then that's not a relationship you need to have, whether it's your boss, your friend, or your wife.

So, to the obese girl, I would say, "You're okay just the way you are. If they don't think so, then that's their problem. As long as you're okay with yourself, then that's perfectly fine. Stop caring what other people think. Do things because you want them for you, not because you are trying to please someone else. You have no obligation to anyone but yourself." :)

Self Worth for Dummies, Part I

This blog is going to be very long and very cathartic. So, if you don't want to read about my personal issues, then get up now and go play some Halo 2 ;) hehehe

We all learn things from our relationships. Sometimes, we learn them as we're going through them, and sometimes, we learn them after everything is all said and done and we've had a chance to reflect. The one major thing I learned from my most recent relationship is the importance of self-worth. In this blog, I'm going to go through my theories on how people get thrown into a vicious cycle of feeling inadequate and what I think it takes to get out.

For me, I was raised with the idea that it was okay to perform for recognition and praise. I was a national competitor on viola and I was also pitted against my sisters for the "best child" award. Wherever I went, I always had to prove something to other people - to prove that I was good enough: the best daughter, the best violist. I always was the best too, and that reinforced the idea that it was okay to do things solely for recognition. Looking back on it, there is a big difference between doing those things for myself or doing them because I wanted to please others.

Last Friday, I was working in the writing lab and this very overweight girl came in for an appointment with me. She was so overweight that I could hear her labored breathing from across the room as I was gathering my materials. When I sat down, I introduced myself and shook her hand, like I always do with clients. But she was very distant and stand-offish. I decided I needed to win her friendship in order for her to really get anything out of her tutoring session. Some people may disagree with my methods, but I make it a point to be extra nice to people who society may not be generally nice to. In about 8 minutes, she was smiling and enjoying how much she was learning. I'd like to think that, in some way, I made her day a little better.

But within this girl lies my cycle theory. It's a proven fact that better looking people are more likely to get a job versus less attractive people, even though they have the same qualifications. This points to some modicum of prejudice towards unattractive people just for their appearance. That easily transfers over to obese people, retarded people, and nerdy people. Whatever is not perceived as normal or kewl is automatically discriminated.

Now, these "abnormal" people may try to be nice to others, but with a level of prejudice going against them, they are going to have to work harder, and in some cases, they won't ever succeed. Take the baby elephant who is raised at the circus as an example. When the elephant is a baby, the trainer puts a chain on its left back ankle and attatches it to an 8-foot steel rod driven deep into the ground. The baby elephant doesn't have enough strength to get away even though it may try and try. Eventually, the baby elephant will give up and realize there is no way to get away and therefore, no reason for even trying. As an adult elephant, you will still notice that their left back ankle doesn't move during a circus performance. The elephant has learned "learned helplessness".

Let's take this example and apply it to the obese girl. The obese girl may have tried to be nice and friendly to people before. But it's possible that people discriminated against her because of her weight or appearance. If enough people ignored her friendly gestures, she would probably notice that there was no point in trying to be friendly - she would always be met with the same fate - just like the baby elephant not being able to move. The obese girl has also learned "learned helpelessness".

This becomes more complex when we add in the concept of self worth. Why did the girl become so discouraged when enough people had treated her badly? Why didn't she have the self-worth to not care. And herein lies our problem... We are all born thinking we are perfectly acceptable. After birth, we take our cues of "abnormality" from our parents and society. A person with a low IQ doesn't realize it's low until something else points it out. And from a very early age, we start to put a lot of emphasis on the opinions of others. We start to derive our world from the opinions of others.

It is my opinion that the obese girl did not know or realize that anything was wrong with her. Only after encountering people who discriminated against her on the basis of her weight and provided her with the idea that she was not "acceptable" did she realize that maybe how her body naturally was was, somehow, not okay. Once she realized this, she can either lose weight (thereby reinforcing the idea that she must change in order to be accepted), or she can decide not to change (necessarily believing that there is nothing she can do about it - learned helplessness). Either way, she necessarily believes that she is not adequate enough according to the opinions of others.

Looks like this is going to be longer than I thought... Time for lunch and we'll meet back here later! :D To be continued... hehehe :P

I'm a single mother...

...and I need to take on a second job to support my children... Okay, so I was joking about being a single mother :P But really, i need a second job before I'm "laid off" from my first job. I work as a writing tutor at my college for $8.50 an hour... It's fun, easy work :) However, the Writing Center closes at the end of November... That means no more money :( If I don't get a job soon, I'll starve, damnit! :P

So far, I've been told to apply to Starbuck's, Robinson's May, and Marie Callender's as a hostess or bakery person... How fun would it be to decorate pies all day! And then, I'd have a valuable and marketable skill - pie decorating! :P Imagine that putting itself to use in the workplace ;)

Seriously... I've been thinking about applying for telemarketer positions or maybe applying at Frederick's of Hollywood. I'd really like something that pays a little better, but it doesn't really matter because I'm gonna be doing jack shit for about 7 weeks while I'm off school... Kung Fu class is only 8 hours a week, people... I really need something else to occupy my time between Ramen and kicking ass :P

Jerry Springer's "Final Thoughts"

Firstly, all this quibbling in the comments section needs to stop. My blog is not called "Refutation Junction", ok? If you want to attack me, that's fine - write me an e-mail. But, don't make it uncomfortable for other readers to come to my blog and enjoy what is written. Thank You.

Secondly, by this time, I'm sure you are all aware that Chris and I broke up. Thanks for all the beers, ladies :) I'm not going to go into details of the why and how because I respect the sanctity of our relationship. And Chris, I would very much like it if you wouldn't bring personal details of my life, my family, or our relationship into this blog. I would hope that you respect my life and privacy as much as I respect yours. Painting a negative image of one another is not in the best interest of either of us. If you want to do so, publish your own blog and I will link you, ok?

Lastly, I want to apologize to all my faithful blog readers for all the drama that has ensued in the comments section of the last three posts. Thank you to all those who supported me and kept reading, despite the drama :) I really appreciate the sense of community that we've achieved here and I love the banter that we engage in! hehehe :P

Having said that, "back to our regularly scheduled program..." ;)

Trust and Relationships

- When one person doesn't trust another person, it hurts both people. The one who doesn't have trust for the other gets hurt because they become paranoid and think the other person is always hurting and betraying them. The person who is being mistrusted gets hurt because they don't have the ability to effect change. This sets up the creation of limits and boundaries.

For example, if a wife thinks her husband is cheating, she will always be fearful and hurt because he will always be betraying her trust (whether he is cheating or not). The husband will be hard pressed to prove that he is not cheating without putting himself into a situation where his wife can dictate what is and is not acceptable behavior in the form of limits or boundaries.

- When a person doesn't trust another person, it makes the person who is not being trusted fearful of the other person. The person who is not trusted will eventually and inevitably do all the things they would otherwise do in their idea of a trusting relationship because that is their right as an individual. However, they will be afraid of telling the distrusting person the truth. The person who is not trusted then begins to not tell the person who is not trusting them everything. This is the beginning of lies.

For example, a guy fears his boyfriend is up to no good because he's been spending lots of time partying. The guy starts to not trust his b/f. To appease the guy, his b/f will stop partying until he realizes that in a trusting relationship, he would be able to party with no problems. The b/f keeps partying, but it is done behind the guy's back. Had the guy trusted his b/f in partying, there would be no reason to go behind his back. However, because mistrust is present, the boyfriend begins to lie in order to cut a compromise between appeasing the guy and living his own life the way he thinks he should be able to.

- When one person places limits or boundaries on another, the other person is always under pressure to perform at a certain level. This sets up expectation for one person and makes that person a specimen that is always under observation. When a boundary is set, it not only breeds distrust, but it also makes the other person conform to a standard that is not their own. This, in turn, changes the chemistry of the original relationship into a dominant and recessive relationship: the dominant person having control and dealing the mistrust and the recessive person always trying to prove that they should be trusted.

For example, a girl tells her girlfriend that she shouldn't hang around her ex-g/f. The girl's g/f is now under pressure to not hang around her ex-g/f. The girl, after having set the boundary, might feel that her g/f is still betraying her trust, despite the boundary she set. The g/f always feels like she has to console the girl even though she is not doing anything wrong. The boundary has set up a dichotomy wherein the girl is demanding something and it is up to the g/f to deliver.

- When one person becomes dominant, and the other recessive, the recessive one is really the one in power. The dominant person sets up a standard that the recessive one must meet. However, the recessive person's only job is to stop playing into the standard, and the dominant person's world will collapse. The dominant person becomes and stays dominant on the premise that the recessive will stay and keep meeting the standards set for them by the dominant person.

For example, a man abuses his wife. The man's abuse depends on the wife staying abused. As soon as she asserts herself to the point where she will no longer tolerate her husband's abuse, the husband no longer has dominancy over his wife. However, as long as the wife keeps taking the abuse, she will always stay abused.

Car Jacking and Rape

Firstly, be wary of carjackers! There is a new method that carjackers are using. Imagine... you are walking to your car, you get inside, you lock your doors, put your seatbelt on, start the car, put your car in reverse and look behind you to back out of your parking space, but there is a sheet of paper on your rear window blocking your view. So, you put your car in park, undo your seatbelt, unlock your doors and hop outside to get the thing off your rear window. Meanwhile, a carjacker jumps in your running car (with your purse on the passenger's seat if you're a woman) and takes off, almost running over you in the process! The carjacker now has your car, your housekeys, and if you left your purse in your car, your Driver's License with your home address on it! Be aware of this new carjacking method! It's been a big problem in San Diego lately and was a warning issued by the San Diego Police Department.

Secondly, I was thinking about rape last night for some reason, and I came up with a couple ideas for rape prevention... What if, as the guy (or girl) was trying to rape you, you screamed, "I have AIDS! I have AIDS!" Would that deter the person from raping you? I was just wondering... it sounds like it would work, right? What if you screamed some other very contagious STD? I wonder if they would just kill you for having an STD in the first place... Hmnn...

Just a couple things to think about from your favorite, neighborhood, crime-fighting Quyen :D

Why Chris doesn't let me drink anymore...

It was my 21st birthday. My family threw me a very elaborate get together at the Holiday Inn starting with a Mimosa breakfast and ending with July 4th fireworks on the balcony :) I got all sorts of liquor related paraphenelia for my B-day: Grey Goose, bartending set, bartending books, shot set, tidbit trays, etc... So, fast-forward to the bar scene...

We just got back from the Padres game and we started ordering long island iced teas and midori sours... then we started playing pool and being those loud obnoxious drunks you see playing pool... hehehe It was me, my mom, Chris, and my mom's b/f, Lou. The boys didn't drink that much because the girls were plastered. Eventually, they decided to take us up to the hotel room to sober up before our Ruth's Chris dinner :) My mom starts going to sleep in one bed and Chris and I are resting in the other. Then, my mom starts screaming "Peanuts! Where are the peanuts?"... which soon became, "Penis! Where's Lou's penis?"

I wasn't paying attention because I was busy trying to unbutton Chris' shirt. I started kissing down his chest and was under the covers trying to undo his belt... which was really fucking hard because I was fucked up, and it was hard to breathe under the covers... but I persisted hehehe :) I don't remember this, but Chris says I was trying to give him a blowjob under the covers... with my mom and her b/f in the next bed... hahahaha :D

Chris is always telling me how I tried to molest him and that he felt so bad because my mom's b/f had to go out on the balcony in order to not watch us (small hotel room) :P I just have to imagine Chris and this old man looking at each other while a big "cover monster" is hovering over his crotch on the bed. LOL He's also always saying that it was so embarrassing to have me doing that with my mom in the next bed... whatever... she had one of those things on her head that keeps the light out... plus, she passed out...

I passed out later, but Chris says I was awake the whole time trying to seduce him... BS... I fell asleep! My version includes sleeping for an hour and then waking up to see Jenni's new shoes :) Ever since then, Chris thinks I'm a randy drunk... He only likes me drinking around my g/fs cuz he's afraid of how I get around other boys when I drink... to which I say "Bah! I just fall asleep!" hehehe j/k :P

Kung Fu Monster

OMG... I'm so sore... my knees hurt like a bitch last nite... and this morning, I woke up with sore quads... owie... I have Kung Fu class tonite again... yay! :) I'm such a masochist :P

So, I've been thinking about something Chris said when he came over this weekend. He's like, "Wow, babe. Your shoulders are so broad now. You're so buff! You're a Kung Fu Monster!" Now, I don't know how to take that. Is that supposed to be a good thing??? So, I went and tried on some dresses and all I could see in the mirror was a Kung Fu Monster in a dress... That's so fucked up! Now I have a complex! hahaha Seriously though, I feel like a football player with long, rockstar hair...

On a more positive note, he said my body looks so fit now. And he's noticed how I can open large and heavy doors by myself now :) I'm glad I'm taking Kung Fu classes now... cuz the next time he says something fucked up, I'm gonna kick his ass :P hehehe ;)

I heart Chris...

Chris came to visit me after almost 5 weeks of not seeing each other. It was really nice to see him (but a little weird at first) Do you ever have those periods when you aren't with your significant other for awhile and you start to get set into your own little routine? Things like taking up the whole bed by yourself, not having sex, going to sleep late, etc? Well, it was kinda weird having Chris visit, even though I was happy and excited that we got to see each other. When we tried to have sex, it was all weird... maybe it's because I haven't had sex in so long! It was like I was uncomfortable and it felt like I didn't know him anymore. I just couldn't relax. I hate saying the word "weird" so much, but it was just... weird.

However, things were better after we spent the night together. We ended up playing more X-men Legends in skirmish mode, went to Chili's, watched some Lord of the Rings, and he even came to my kung fu class to watch me sweat profusely for two hours... and then bought me pizza :D hehe Isn't he great? :)

While he was sleeping this morning, I went online and read some of my past blogs about our relationship: where it's been, where it's going... I really do love this man. I can't wait to live together one day :) When I dropped him off, I was sad. I wanted to spend more time with him. It's ironic. Just when it seems like I've gotten used to living without him, he comes back and shows me that the one thing I really want is to start living with him. None of this once a month stuff... He and I... 24/7 :)

His Bday is on the 15th... I'm trying to decide what I should do for him ;)

Psychic Powers

After reading Mike's blog, I couldn't resist writing my own post about the subject.

Psychic powers are real. Just because you can't see something doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Centuries ago, people thought that gravity was "witchcraft" until a scientific theory was formed and it was tested. Just because people didn't understand gravity long ago didn't mean it didn't exist. With time, we'll start to discover the true workings of our psychic powers.

Just because psychic powers aren't widely accepted doesn't mean there isn't information on research that was conducted on it. The U.S. government was a great proponent of psychic research and development during the Cold War. Russia also has well-documented information on psychic warfare research. However, their development was halted with the signing of the agreement between the U.S. and Russia to stop developing nuclear weapons. In fact, like legislature, their is a sub-clause near the bottom of the contract that specifies the end of psychic warfare development. China was never part of this contract and continues to be a major world leader in psychic warfare.

To augment the validity of other's claims on the existence of psychic phenomena are my own experiences. When I was younger, I trained to develop my own psychic powers. Everyone has different abilities and are more likely to learn certain skills rather than others. Some of these skills include, clairvoyance (viewing knowledge), clairaudience (hearing knowledge), clairirevent (sp? psychic dreams), Astral travel (out of body experiences - OBEs), telepathy, telekinesis, etc... My specialties were Astral travel, just "knowing" the future (unlike clairvoyance where you have to look at a mirror or crystal ball to see images of the future), and telekinesis. At the height of my abilities, these powers included being able to "teleport" to any location within 3,000 miles of my physical location and describe, in detail, location of furniture, north-south-east-west directions, where people were and what they were doing, how rooms were structured, colors and even events like whether a light was flickering on and off. My other power, telekinesis, is much weaker. I can give people "psychic hugs" - which make them feel warm and loved, although you can substitute pain and anguish to be distributed to the person as well. I can also "trace" shapes on a person's skin. At the height of my power, I could, at a long physical distance, give my boyfriend a "psychic blowjob" and make him cum without him even having to do anything... pretty kewl, huh? ;) Anyway, I can't do that anymore... Chris is disappointed :P

Anyway, I could get testimony about how incredible my powers are and what specifically I can do with them. My friend, Jean, feels my powers helped save her life one night, literally. It's a crazy story ;) I could get her to post it if you guys are interested :) Alas, I can't do it anymore. I denied my powers after scaring myself with a tarot reading I did without the party's knowledge, meaning I didn't tell them, and they weren't there to "suggest" things or ideas to - my own personal experiment. Everything ended up being true, and it scared me. There's a point when you even doubt your own abilites. I never really thought I had any real power; I thought it was all just for fun. But it turns out that I did. And what's more is I demonstrated my proficiencies time and time again with incredible results.

So, I guess I just have to defend psychic powers because I believe they truly do exist. Whether psychic healing exists? I don't know. I've never been successful with it. However, I do know what I experienced is real, as do those who have had the opportunity to witness it as well.

*sigh*

I'm so disappointed.

I thought Americans were more enlightened than this.

This just sends shivers down my spine.

I am so tired...

I'm about to pass out here at work. I stayed out till 3am last nite. My friend, David, and I went to West Hollywood's Carnaval. Parking was crazy, and I ended up getting a parking ticket for parking in a no parking zone :( Oh well, we had tons of fun. The costumes were AMAZING! We took pictures with a box of McDonald's French Fries, Jessica (so pretty!) and Roger Rabbit, a giant white unicorn (this guy was basically naked and painted his whole body white!), Buddha... so many people - so many costumes! My fave was a really old woman dressed as an Xmas tree who went around saying, "The only thing I want for Xmas is a new President!" hehe how cute :)

The music was great and everyone was having so much fun! It makes me happy to see people get together for something and just smile :) There were way too many drag queens :P It was the most unoriginal costume haha j/k :P Then, there were the transsexuals who were soooooooooo pretty. I was like, "Shit! I could never be that pretty!" There were times when I felt I was watching a "He or She?" edition of Maury Povich... :P I would sit there and I really couldn't tell to save my life. Unwittingly, David ended up hitting on a few hehe :P

I've decided that I don't like crowds. Too many really nasty men were touching me and crap. That's just not okay. And what the hell does "shorty" mean? I passed this guy, and he was like, "Real sexy, shorty." I'm anything but short. I must have been 6 feet tall in my 'come fuck me' boots. I imagine it's a trendy new word... *sigh*... I'm just not up on the times...

My feet hurt so much last nite! I had to take off my boots and walk barefoot! I was stepping on all sorts of shit too! ...like berries and pebbles and this horrible cobblestone sidewalk. My pantyhose are jacked right now. We got so lost in WeHo! We were there like an hour longer than we needed to be. But we met a lot of kewl people and I got my scare of the evening when some guy hid behind a tall bush and jumped out to scare me. Okay, okay... he was actually just standing in a shady corner of a residential driveway trying to light a cigarette... but he scared the shit out of me, nonetheless! He was like, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." hehe :P

Sorry this blog is weird... I can't think straight... I just want to go back to bed :) After we left Carnaval, we met up with a few of our friends at Denny's who were supposed to meet us at Carnaval but didn't because they were sick of fighting the traffic to get there. It was a really fun night! :D