Do' and Don'ts (Quyen's Guide to Sex)
DO give head regularly
DON'T eat someone's shit or engage in scat play
DO arch your back and press your ass in the air, pretending you're a porn star
DON'T have sex in a hot tub for long periods of time
DO train yourself to enjoy various positions (even if it hurts the first time)
DON'T suck cock if it's just been in your ass
DO try to play with all your partner's 2,000 parts
DON'T subject yourself to a dirty ass or a dirty penis
DO talk so dirty it disturbs your neighbors
DON'T complain during sex and ruin the moment
DO have sex in a car and other outside venues
DON'T be unwilling to try new things that might please your partner
DO kiss, suck, spank, bite, pull, stroke, and fuck to your heart's desire
DON'T hurt, cut, beat, or maim yourself or your partner
DO have as much sex as you feel is unnecessarily needed
DON'T ever be ashamed of it
DON'T eat someone's shit or engage in scat play
DO arch your back and press your ass in the air, pretending you're a porn star
DON'T have sex in a hot tub for long periods of time
DO train yourself to enjoy various positions (even if it hurts the first time)
DON'T suck cock if it's just been in your ass
DO try to play with all your partner's 2,000 parts
DON'T subject yourself to a dirty ass or a dirty penis
DO talk so dirty it disturbs your neighbors
DON'T complain during sex and ruin the moment
DO have sex in a car and other outside venues
DON'T be unwilling to try new things that might please your partner
DO kiss, suck, spank, bite, pull, stroke, and fuck to your heart's desire
DON'T hurt, cut, beat, or maim yourself or your partner
DO have as much sex as you feel is unnecessarily needed
DON'T ever be ashamed of it
posted by Quyen @ 1:49 PM
15 Comments:
At 3:04 PM ,
The Mighty Anonymous said...
THAT's what I've been missing!!
I'm not giving enough head...that explains everything.
Should I shave my goatee first or do you think they won't mind? Don't want to do the whole rug burn thing.
At 3:09 PM ,
grace said...
MAnon: i hated steve's beard... except when it came to that... :P it was good for something...
At 3:10 PM ,
grace said...
oh, and Q... i couldn't get past #2. i got seriously grossed out about the shit eating... EW. :P
At 3:14 PM ,
JK said...
Well, that about sums it up. Thanks for clarifying.
At 4:26 PM ,
Cindy-Lou said...
You're every man's dream, Q.
At 4:33 PM ,
MomMega: mothersmilkblog.com said...
Hmmm...that is a great list. Now if I could just find someone to have the sex with, I would be good!
At 5:12 PM ,
grace said...
mel! i'm available! :P
At 7:26 AM ,
Kermit007 said...
quite funny...gimme a ring punk!
At 8:14 AM ,
Yankeebob said...
Quyen, you are every guys dream. If I had ever managed to find someone with your outlook, I'd have been a happy person.
Mel, if you need a volunteer.....
At 9:32 AM ,
JK said...
Mel, I offer you my "services" as well. :)
Q, I take it that number 1 was a two way deal.
At 10:47 AM ,
grace said...
i don't know... but this list... doesn't sound like you guys have boring sex :P
At 11:42 AM ,
peachy said...
What a great list. I hope some of the dos and dont's aren't from personal experience.
At 1:42 PM ,
Kis Lee said...
great list!
the dirt/shit related don'ts are a given. gross!!
At 1:52 PM ,
Chris said...
Per Grace's comment about the non-boring nature of the list, I'm just going to clarify something: When I told Quyen, "Sure, it (the sex) is boring," I was working under the definition of 'boring' that she's used before - Something of a monotonous nature, lacking in the arena of constant novelty and surprise.
Now that everyone's had a chance to see the list, I think everyone's got an idea or two as to why, never in my wildest dreams, would I be dissastisfied with the sex life. What's there to be dissastisfied with?
At 5:40 AM ,
Yankeebob said...
I kind of thought that's what you had meant Chris. This list makes me happy for the both of you and jealous for me. :(
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