Shifting Into 5th Gear

School is into full swing for me now. I have papers due, concerts to attend, museums to go to, lesson plans to make, reflections and responses to write, and hundreds of pages of reading to do. I feel a little overwhelmed right now. But I'm sure that in one week, I'll be feeling simply inundated. I knew this would happen at the beginning of the semester as I was planning my schedule. Two part time jobs, full time school, Kung Fu, boyfriend time, time for cooking and meals, and my own personal sanity time... All this I could handle. But when you throw in time to do schoolwork? That's it. You might as well stick a fork in me and test me for doneness cuz I'm freaking burned the fuck out. *sigh* :(

Now, I know other people have done it and succeeded with a lot more on their shoulders than me, but fuck that. I'm not them. Firstly, I know I will succeed. I'm just a masochistic bitch like that. Secondly, I'll succeed with flair. I'm just stylish like that ;) But a lot of things are on my mind lately. My nightmares have been getting worse and more vivid. And if you've followed my blog for any amount of time, I sometimes have precognitive dreams. Lately, they've been about my mom who has a brain tumor that she refuses to get checked out... well, since 1990-something-or-other. The doctors (back then) said she was supposed to die in 6 months. But she's been alive ever since. But it's always been in the back of my mind... like some kind of time bomb grotesquely ticking away.

Anyway, I'm worried about her, and I want to go see her in San Diego (which adds another load of stress on me). There literally aren't enough hours in the day and what's worse is the fact that I have to decide what gets priority in my life. I had a convo with a friend a few days ago about justice and mercy, and I told him that "justice can try itself again and again, but mercy has only one opportunity". How sobering, yet true. Let's believe in second chances...