My New Home

I took Grace's advice and started a new blog! :D Please update all of your links and bookmarks ;)

I'm no longer at sweetasianrain.blogspot.com.

Now, I'm at http://HOTasianrain.blogspot.com :P

I'm still getting everything fixed up, but I already have a special present waiting for all of my loyal readers. Enjoy! ;)

I'm single!

That's right. Chris and I broke up. I think that about says it all. I won't go into the details, but I will say that it is a mutually recognized breakup (so as not to paint a "good guy/bad guy" picture).

Chris, please adhere to the blogging breakup rules we set in this post.
My apologies to my blogging community for not having posted in such a long time. As you can see, things have been somewhat hectic. I have two more weeks of school and then it should be back to my regularly scheduled program. :)

Super Mommy to the Rescue!

So, after not talking to my mother for over 2 months, I called her and apologized (but only because Mother's Day was coming up, and I didn't want to just not show up). In case you don't know, we stopped talking because she promised to take care of Toasty and then, behind my back, she tried to give her away on Craigslist! Oh, I was so pissed that I nabbed her up from San Diego the very day I heard about it. Then, I left a nasty message about how I felt so betrayed by her, and that I couldn't believe she broke her promise to me.

Anyway, we're talking again just like nothing ever happened. I'm sure when she sees me that she'll throw up after seeing all my split ends (she cuts my hair and does it better than 98% of all hairstylists can - another reason why I wanted to makeup with her). I told her about my financial troubles and how finals week is in just 3 weeks and how I've been stressing out. She offered to pay me back the $3K I lent her and also give me my cashed in life insurance policy. So, I'm so happy because I can continue to keep living the lifestyle I am living and not worry too much about money. For awhile there, I thought she spent my money to get back at me for being mean to her. Yay! No more financial stress! And no more weird roomie coming to live with me ;)

Income VS Expenses

After doing many calculations, I've finally realized that I expend more more money than I take in. Currently, I go to school full time and work 2 part time jobs. My job's pay varies from month to month because I teach music lessons and tutor freshman composition classes and my paychecks for both jobs are distributed monthly, which means 2 paychecks per month. Currently, I'm making more money than I have in the past. However, I'll be experiencing a HUGE dry spell from May 10th through June 21st because the group classes I teach at the music school (my main source of income) will be cut off because of the recital season. Therefore, I'll be making 50% of what I'm pulling in now.

The other half of this equation includes my expenses which include my 1 bedroom apartment and utilities which totals $830 a month, food and gas which comes in at $350 a month, and then there are my "extravangances" which include my cell phone, toiletries, etc... which weigh in at around $280 a month. Grand total? $1,460 each and every month for me to live the lifestyle that I do. Is this just insane and unnecessary? Do other people need $1,460 every month to live?

My income comes in at just above this. Group classes at the music school total in at $165 a week, I make $120 a week teaching private lessons, and my tutoring job brings in $60 a week. Add in occassional lessons and random students and gigs, and I make a maximum of $1,575 a month, which is just $115 above my expenses.

However, that is cutting it close for me. I am seriously thinking about getting a roommate to cut my expenses by $375. I have a 1 bedroom apartment. So, I could convert the living room into a bedroom, but then I'd have a whole lot of extra furniture that I can hopefully give to Chris. So, if I get a roomie, I'll be making almost $500 more than my expenses which allows me a savings account as well as emergency funds. It's the only solution I've come up with. Well, that and prostitution... I probably wouldn't do too badly with that. After all, I can deepthroat you and lick your balls at the same time... ;)

Just kidding, Chris. :P

I'm Pregnant

I can't believe it. Chris and I had an amazing time together this past weekend. We watched movies, ate Cinnabons, kissed, licked, sucked, and fucked. It was incredible. But as I was driving home on Sunday nite, I was feeling so low energy! I could hardly hold the wheel. I thought I was going to pass out. I ended up making it home, got ready for bed, called Chris to exchange our goodnites, and went to bed.

This morning, I slept through my alarm, was late to class, and have been headachey all day. I've just been so lethargic! My friend joked that I might be pregnant. And at first, I laughed. But then I thought about it. We didn't use a condom, and I missed my pill a couple days ago. Could it be possible? I left work right away and headed to a drugstore to get a pregnancy test.

So, now I'm here in front of the computer with my pregnancy test in my hand. To all my family and blogger friends: I'm pregnant! :D I'm really pregnant! Chris, you're going to be a Daddy! :) I love you, Baby! :D

Stigma

I've realized that there's a stigma attatched to romantic relationships. You expect it to honestly be romantic, full of romance. And it's that side of us in a relationship that gets caught up in wanting the ideal romantic partner. We'll complain, communicating our dissatisfaction, and we'll even try to change the person we're with only to bend them into what we believe we want. We want it to be like the movies. We want it to be all the best times and none of the worst. That's the side of our relationships which always wants more and is never satiated. This is the side that doesn't want to compromise. Our perfect version of a relationship is just that: perfect. Why should anything else be otherwise?

Then, there is the side of the relationship that consists of just friendship. Whatever you do, you enjoy each other's company and you're with them because you genuinely enjoy them. You don't want to change them; they come as they are. This side consists of caring just for the genuine sake of caring. There is nothing you can get back out of the friendship except seeing the other person happy, which, in turn, makes you happy. There's no greed, no expectations. We give because we truly want to, and because it satisfies us as people. It's the side of us that has no ego, no pride. It makes us say, "We're in this together."

It's never the romantic side that gets couples through hard times; it's the friendship, the caring. When you shush someone from crying, it's your love for them as a friend that makes you not want to see them in pain. When you want to see their side of the argument, it's your friendship that makes you want to understand them. All this and more... that's what keeps couples together for the long haul, not the sex or the praise that comes from mimicking movies and fantasies of the ideal relationship. It's the friendship. What pulls couples apart is the greed caused by the pursuance of the ideal romance. Ironically, it's the pursuance of the sex and the praise.

So, how do you function in a relationship with these two, very different forces at play? I don't have the answers; I'm still trying to figure things out for myself. Maybe we need to concentrate more on the connections we have with others rather than the roles that we want people to fill in our lives. Spend more time with the people in front of you than those who might be, far into the future. Let your loved ones know what you think is right and not wrong. And make sure to observe more, and judge less.

Chris' Accident and my Retarded Weekend

Last week (I think it was Wednesday), Chris got into a really bad car accident. When he called me, he sounded more angry than he sounded injured. Apparently, this 80 y/o woman ran a red light while he was making a protected left turn (green arrow) and totally smashed his brand new, red, '05 Mustang. When I first heard about it, I thought it was a minor accident. Then, On Friday nite, he sent me these multimedia text messages of pics he took with his phone of his car at the shop. I was like WTF? If you want to see what happened, go to www.viewmymessage.com and enter in Message ID: F1QH4Z1WD and password: Peat4Clap

Apparently, she hit his car, and then his car did a 180 from the impact to the passenger side of his car and spun around only to get hit AGAIN on the driver's side of his car! He was actually bleeding from the accident :( He couldn't get out of his car either. Firefighters had to come to the scene to cut him out of his car. Poor baby :( Now he's feeling the pain of whiplash and his back is out of whack because the adrenaline and state of shock have worn off.

On a different note, I attended 6 concerts this weekend. It's maddening trying to sit there for 2 hours straight, several times a day while having no one there to talk to! Thank god they had receptions afterwards. Otherwise, I would have not only starved, but also I would have screamed from the insanity that not socializing with other people for an entire day can bring. I love reception food! I had shrimp cocktail, spring rolls, baklava, some really good cheeses, and awesome chocolate covered strawberries! One interesting fact: The musical, Carousel, is an interesting social commentary on domestic violence. I hope everyone else had better weekends than Chris and I had. :P