Chris' half of Quyen's B-day

As I sit here with marshmellow peep in hand, recollections of days now past arrive. A clarity and freshness captures the moment, bringing to life memories, animating them, and bestowing upon them the vibrance of the present, which is to say, they have shed the brittle trappings of nostalgia. Further, one can conclude that if the moment, the time and place holds a special enough place in our hearts, it will live on forever, unfaded, free from the drain of external complications. That one special moment exists in a place that never changes, never tarnishes; it is to us as depictions of the 1950's and the summer of love are to America.

With the introduction out of the way, let me bring this back down to Earth. This past weekend was not only the July 4th weekend, but Quyen's birthday. And, it was no small birthday indeed. It was her 21st, her coming of age as a woman in the eyes of society. The location was San Diego, one day after the trip to the Del Mar Fair. Oh, and in Quyen's sister's bed. ooooh, plot thickens, lol.

I was sleeping away after a long night of not having slept very well, and it wasn't so much that there was anything particularly wrong with my night, as much as it was being content that made sleeping an ordeal. I wont go any further than to say I was both physically and emotionally content, and so spent much of the night thinking about my lady love. To make a simile of it, it was like one of those times when you're either so stressed out, angry, or free that you can't help but think about what made you feel that way; your mind is monopolized with no regard to hunger, or sleep.

So, here I was, next to Quyen, her soft body pressed againt mine, when in comes her middle sister, Jenni, rushing straight through the door like a small child on a mix of caffeine and sugar. What a drink it must have been. That wild, excited look on her face, authentic and, for the moment, free roused my senses from a state of quasi-sleepiness in a way that only cold water tends to do. As all of this is starting to make sense, Jenni leaps onto my bed, and lands perfectly hunched over Quyen. With Quyen and I nestled under the covers, I don't know how Jenni avoided landing on any one of us, but let's just be thankful she didn't :P That would've been a painful start to a day! And just when you think it's over, Jenni starts singing some sort of happy birthday chant and tells us she's waking us up early because she knows how long it takes Quyen to get ready, and we have breakfast in a little over an hour.

Despite the consideration Jenni put into her happy birthday chant and waking us up early, Quyen and I lost track of time talking about the previous night, and holding each other. Apparently, she had a good time at the fair, even though the last ride we were on brings to mind the thought of death, screaming, and absolute fear. Seriously, I have never been the type to scream on rides, but then this ride happened, came along and changed everything. I was so sick I walked slowly to take care of my stomach, avoided eating any more of that great carnival food, and almost lost my voice from the screaming of just seconds ago. A talk about the carnival, and the "talk" we had in the Volvo later, and we were pressed for time and on course for being very late! By the way, the talk in the Volvo, for you curious types, had to do with the content of our blogs last week, and how to go about repairing the past and understading each other better - a goood thing ;)

In typical Quyen fashion, she went into scary "pressed for time" mode. Let me explain what this mode is like. Quyen becomes easily frustrated, irritated, and snappy, much like her oldest sister. Stern words are no stranger. However, she also becomes a fragile and sensitive person. Her stern behavior is nothing more than a cover for her fear, anxiety, and stress. It's the same thing we each go through during our own tough times, be it when we get up without enough sleep, are dealing with the impending doom of final exams, or are stressing out about any other such thing, like work, relationships, or money.

I've come to understand "pressed for time" mode, and I would say have developed a few coping mechanisms, among them understanding that any harsh words aren't meant to be taken seriously in a mean-spirited way. I just need to figure out how to avoid allowing "pressed for time" mode from stressing me out myself- stressing me out in trying to deal with it, and in trying to figure out how to make Quyen feel better about time and about herself. That's my next big project - finding out how to soothe Quyen during these times.

Anyhow, let's get back to the day itself. Quyen had lost part of her make-up kit and scurried frantically trying to find it. This was real fear my friend. It was her 21st birthday and she didn't want to look anything less than perfect on that day, especially when pictures would be taken and the rest of her family, she knew, would look flawless. Meanwhile, I walked around the house in undies! My clothes, formal clothes, for the day had been wrinkled to the point of shameful, and while I can take a bit of wrinkling in my clothes, moreso than the average person, this was just not going to work. If I had worn these clothes it would have been dishonorable to myself, my family, and Quyen's family. This was not how one dresses on a formal 21st birthday party gathering. My clothes were placed in the drier and I waited, being wholly unable to get ready until they were ready. So, I did what any boyfriend would do: wait around and try to figure out how to calm down my distressed girlfriend. This was not an easy task. When my clothes finally came out of the drier, Quyen was busy trying to put on an earing. One earing. I had, before she was done, put on my pants, tucked in my shirt, secured a dressy belt, found my cell phone, and wallet, and placed on my formal shoes. Quyen looked over at me and stared with disappointment and irritation, shouted for me to go faster because I was going to make her late and was just being lazy. Like I said, this is just a part of her when she's stressed, lol.

Vrooom. Quyen and I were out the house and on our way to a restaurant on the San Diego Bay. We had about ten minutes to make it, but traffic was good to us and we made it off the freeway in time. Finding the restuarant and where her family awaited us, was a different story entirely, filled with stress, confusion, and a commute through parts of San Diego Quyen was unfamiliar with. In our search for the fabled restaurant, Quyen called her eldest sister, Chelle several times for direction. What she didn't count on was Chelle giving bad directions, or being nasty. It was clear Chelle was in a bad mood from what I was able to catch while Quyen was on the phone. What was also obvious was that this wasn't making things any better on Quyen. Already she was dealing with the stress of being late, the idea that she was going to look bad on her 21st birthday, and now she had to deal with her eldest sister being unsupportive and mean-spirited. I tried, sometimes successfully, sometimes not so much, to make her feel better, and...if I do say so myself, got her to laugh a few time before the whole ordeal was over. And yes, this was definitely an ordeal: being lost, bad directions, pressed for time, stressed.